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All right, I'll play along

Discussion in 'The OMG Archives' started by Tricorder, Apr 6, 2012.

  1. Mikey

    Mikey :mikey: Staff Member

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    Q <3
     
  2. OP
    Tricorder

    Tricorder Resident Maid

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    Interesting. Allow me to respond to each of the points mentioned there:

    1. Janeway has more hair - which means you can tell when she's frazzled. Picard - he has to rely on facial expressions.

    Really? The hair?

    [​IMG]



    2. Janeway's got eye candy er... Chakotay. Picard has - Riker.

    Ummm... what? [​IMG] In any case - irrelevant.



    3. Janeway has told people to 'go to hell' and meant it. Picard invites them to chat in his Ready Room over a cup of tea.

    I know what the author is referring to here, but I don't see how telling someone to go to hell and mean it makes Janeway superior to Picard.



    4. When Janeway knows there's trouble, she picks up a phaser rifle. Picard's weapon of choice? Worf.

    Seems to me Picard is the smart one here. Why putting yourself in danger when you have a bloodthirsty Klingon with an itchy trigger finger to do your dirty work for you? ;)



    5. She's never had to pretend to be in love with an officer's mother.

    Ahahahahaha... irrelevant. :p



    6. Q picked her over Picard to be a godparent to his child.

    And if Q wanted to have a child in TNG instead of Voyager, he would've picked Picard. :rolleyes:



    7. Q picked her over Picard and Sisko to um... well, mate with him.

    Really? He picked a female to have a child with instead of two males? I wonder why... :rolleyes:



    8. Janeway's not afraid to get in a physical confrontation when things get tough. Picard has to call on an officer to do the dirty work. Sisko just runs away and abandons what he was told to command.

    Again, who's the smarter one? The one who puts his / her own life in danger or the one who orders someone else to do it instead? ;) As for Sisko, I'm not sure what the author is referring to. As far as I know, Sisko never ran away from command duty.



    9. Janeway's not afraid to play around with the temporal prime directive. Picard has to think through what's going on before he takes action.

    Aha. So thinking before acting is a bad thing? :unsure:



    10. Two words: Better lines.

    That's a matter of an opinion.



    11. Janeway knew better than to let a kid save the day - Picard had to keep calling on Wesley.

    Irrelevant. None of the kids on Voyager were nearly smart and annoying like Wesley Crusher was. :p



    12. Two words: Better sleepwear. (I mean, come on - what WAS that thing Picard would wear to bed?)

    Again - matter of an opinion.



    13. She actually sounds like she's from where she's supposed to be from. (Hello? When did the English accent jump over the Channel?)

    Obviously at some point by the 24th century. :p



    14. Gives MUCH better 'heart to heart' talks. I mean, when you're on a ship away from home and missing your mommy, would you really rather chat with Sisko, Picard or Kirk?

    Irrelevant. Sisko, Picard and Kirk were never lost in the Delta quadrant, 75,000 lightyears away from home, so their crewmembers were in constant contact with their families. Galaxy class ships were even designed to accommodate families of their crewmembers for as long as necessary.



    15. Doesn't let the stupid counselor drive the ship into a planet. 

    Technically, "stupid counselor" had no helm control over the crashing saucer section.



    Some people really need to get their facts straight. Additionally, Voyager had no counselor aboard. EMH took it upon himself to become a makeshift counselor, but he doesn't count.



    16. Promoted happiness in the center of command. Sometimes we'd see the officers actually having *fun* on the bridge for more than one second!

    Really? And who was happier than Worf each time Picard gave "fire at will" order? ;)



    17. When push came to shove, Janeway used her feminine wiles (as in pretended to be a prostitute) to save her crew. I really hope Picard, Sisko and Kirk wouldn't try that.

    Lol. [​IMG]



    18. (From "63 Reasons Why Janeway is Better than Picard"): "Acknowledges freely when she breaks the Prime Directive instead of trying to weasle her way out of it with philosophical ramblings."

    And that makes her better... how? :unsure:



    19. Picard, Sisko and Kirk couldn't provide tinder for a fire on a planet without the aid of technology. Janeway could - and I bet even when he hair was shorter it was still possible.

    Again with the hair?

    [​IMG]



    20. Picard, Sisko and Kirk never got VanGogh's flying machine to work.

    So? Picard, Sisko and Kirk never got their ships lost in another quadrant all the way across the galaxy either. :rolleyes:



    21. Janeway never had a holodeck character take over the ship.

    Neither did Archer, Kirk and Sisko. What's your point, my dear author?



    22. (Another one from "63 Reasons Why...") "She doesn't need to straighten her uniform every time she stands."

    Has it occurred to you that TNG and DS9 / Voyager uniforms are different, my dear author? No? Didn't think so. ;)



    23. Janeway can slouch. Picard would look stupid if he tried.

    And you know that... how? If Picard never slouched, how do you know he would look stupid if he tried, my dear author? ;)



    24. Realises that sexual relations with those serving under her is a bad idea. (Kirk, take the hint!)

    Another case of a matter of an opinion. ;)



    25. Do you really think Picard would have dared to venture aboard a Borg ship, let alone willingly be assimilated?

    Again - who's the smarter one? The one who stays away from the Borg or the one who willingly lets himself / herself be assimilated? ;)



    26. (So many form "63 Reasons Why..") " Janeway doesn't have to point which way to go when they set off."

    Neither does Picard, but he does it anyway, because it's cool. :cool:8-)



    27. Was actually engaged at some point(s) of her life. Picard couldn't/wouldn't even get Dr. Crusher. (I'm not counting "All Good Things...")

    So? Are you saying that people who choose to stay single are somehow inferior to those who choose to get engaged / married, my dear author?



    28. Her replicator knows what temperature to make her favourite drink. After 7 years, Picard couldn't even get that one correct.

    That only means that Janeway's replicator is better than Picard's replicator, which is logical, since the replicators installed on an Intrepid class ships are newer, therefore better, than the ones installed on a Galaxy class ships. Simple matter of technological superiority. It has nothing to do with the Captains.



    29. She talks to her ship. 'The Boys" never did.

    Usually, when a person starts talking to an inanimate object, it's a sign of mental disorder. ;)



    30. (Maybe I should just copy "63 Reasons Why.."?) "Her first officer has a halucinogenic device."

    Great. Janeway's First Officer is a glorified stoner who uses technology to get high. :p



    31. Janeway's actually allowed to go on away missions, Picard needs his nanny's (Riker) approval.

    That's not exactly true, but whatever.



    32. From the list: "Q asked Janeway to run away with him and she refused. Q asked Picard's girlfriend to run away with him and she accepted."

    LOL! [​IMG]



    33. Janeway made do without the 'best and the brightest' Starfleet had to offer. And even found time to try and lift the spirits of the worst of them.

    Unfair comparison. None of the other Captains ever got stranded 75,000 lightyears away from home.



    34. Janeway's got that sarcasm thing down pat.

    Errr... huh? :unsure:



    35. Janeway wasn't helpless when she was assimilated by Borg.

    Well duh! She wasn't assimilated unprepared, like Picard was. She had an advantage thanks to EMH's medical tinkering.



    36. Janeway didn't run the other way from the Borg - she actually chased them down! (Sisko, take note.)

    Yes, I always liked it how Voyager (the show, not the ship) ruined the Borg and turned them from the biggest menace of the galaxy (not including Q) into a bunch of helpless puppets. :rolleyes:



    37. Janeway's doctor can work 24/7.

    Janeway's Doctor is a computer program. You conveniently left that part out, didn't you, my dear author? ;)



    38. When faced with helping others or sticking to the Prime Directive, she decides to help others and worry about it later.

    Yep, acting without thinking. Brilliant.



    39. Janeway's on a first name basis with half the admirals. ("Those admirals and I are on a first name basis."

    I wonder why... *cough* slut *cough* :p



    40. Janeway gives hugs. Picard gives... well, I won't go there.

    No no, go there. What does Picard give? :uy:



    41. Picard fences. Janeway hits her security officer with a tennis ball to keep him on his toes. 

    And those two things are related... how? :unsure:



    42. Sisko's considered a god. Janeway thinks religion is for dummies.

    Obviously, you're a biased atheist, my dear author. ;)



    43. Kirk couldn't cut it as an admiral. Janeway's still an admiral.

    Kirk died before Janeway became an Admiral. Your argument is invalid.



    44. Picard and Sisko COMBINED haven't discovered half as many planets and stuff as Janeway.

    Yes, Picard was too busy straightening his uniform each time he stood up and Sisko got sidetracked with that little thing called the Dominion war & stuff, while Janeway was cruising around in her little ship, discovering planets & stuff.



    45. Janeway doesn't sleep. (Too much coffee!)

    [​IMG]



    46. Janeway drinks a more manly drink than Picard.

    Coffee is more "manly" than tea? [​IMG] Since when?



    47. Janeway will tell you when you're annoying her. Picard just tries to avoid you.

    Great. Picard has manners while Janeway is rude. ;)



    48. When in a tight spot, Picard will try to talk his way out. Janeway will threaten to self-destruct the ship. (Or is it just a threat?)

    Translation: Enterprise gets to fly away intact while Voyager self-destructs. I wonder who's the winner here... :rolleyes:



    49. Janeway can surprise even a Vulcan.

    Big deal.



    50. Janeway kicks Klingon butt and steals their stuff. (Picard just speaks the language.)

    Great. Picard knows an alien language while Janeway is a petty thief. Kudos to her. :p



    51. Janeway's been known to let her hair down - literally. Picard, Sisko and Kirk can't. (Well, unless Kirk is putting down his toupee.) 

    And again with the hair?

    [​IMG]



    52. Janeway don't play no sissy flute. ;)

    Yes, but one of her Bridge officers plays a clarinet and constantly whines about stuff. ;)



    53. Her crew could build a super-cool shuttle from scratch. All the other captains just ordered from the latest Starfleet catalog.

    And if she didn't get lost, she would also have the luxury of ordering from a catalog. ;)



    54. She can insult a culture just by putting her hands on her hips.

    Since when is insulting someone, much less an entire culture, a good thing? :unsure:



    55. What's that cool technology Admiral Janeway brought over?

    What's that directive she broke in the process? ;)



    56. Picard's older than Janeway's mother. ;)

    So?



    57. Picard got yelled at by Boothby. Janeway got roses from him.

    That wasn't Boothby. That was a member of Species 8472 who altered his appearance to look like Boothby that gave rose to Janeway. I find your lack of ability to get your facts straight disturbing.



    58. Janeway's Borg still kept the most useful parts of Borg technology. Picard's crew through his out.

    Janeway's Borg? [​IMG] Seven of Nine? She only kept what she needed to stay alive. EMH removed everything else.



    59. Janeway never went fishing or horse riding on the holodeck. Her holodeck experience brought her into a B-movie, a pool hall, a gothic novel (ok, I'd rather fish), and an Irish town where she's thought of as a cool 'alien' creature (see end of "Spirit Folk").

    Personal preferences regarding favorite holodeck programs are irrelevant.



    60. Janeway can shoot pool. Picard can't even shoot.

    I beg to differ:



    61. Facial expressions. Need I say more?

    Yes you do. Or, even better, show me. ;)



    62. Janeway can carry a grudge.

    Oh? And Sisko can't? Remember Michael Eddington and how he nicknamed Sisko for relentlessly chasing him after he bruised his ego? No? Get. Your. Facts. Straight. Period.



    63. Janeway admits when she's wrong and doesn't make excuses.

    So?



    64. Janeway kicked the only Ferengi nearby 70,000 lightyears. Sisko couldn't even get rid of his Ferengi.

    Lies. The Ferengi in question escaped from Voyager, flew into the Barzan wormhole and (presumably) returned to the Alpha quadrant, destabilizing the wormhole in the process enough to prevent Voyager from entering it, thus stranding the ship in the Delta quadrant. Again. Get. Your. Facts. Straight. Again.



    65. Could you really see Kirk, Picard or Sisko sitting around in their quarters with their officers joking about how their doctor is related to a toaster? (Or was it an electric shaver?)

    I didn't know Cylons infiltrated Starfleet. When did that happen? :unsure:



    66. Archer's quarters are about the size of Janeway's bathroom.

    So? Size matters not, my young Padawan. ;)



    67. Janeway never allowed her ship's gravity to go offline while someone was in the shower.

    [​IMG]



    68. Janeway's bathtub is bigger than Archer's quarters.

    [​IMG]  :p



    69. Q never asked Archer to have his child.

    Aside from the fact neither of them are gay, Archer never even met Q. Facts? Hello! ;)



    70. Janeway wouldn't put up with having a first officer foisted upon her.

    Aha. And you know that... how? :unsure:  Also, I wouldn't exactly say T'Pol was "foisted" on Archer.



    71. Archer's ship: You return from away mission, you need to spread goo all over yourself while standing in your undies. Janeway's: You walk off the transporter.

    Janeway's way is boring. Archer's way is hawt. :uy:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YRGJdYgX0CI

    See what I mean? ;)



    72. Archer's doctor heals people with what Neelix would use to cook. And Janeway's doctor can be turned off when he gets annoying.

    Okay, that's a good one. [​IMG]



    73. Two words: Universal translator. (Yeah, Janeway's is like decades ahead of Archer's. Wait... that doesn't make sense, nm.)

    If it weren't for a member of Archer's crew, namely Hoshi Sato, Janeway wouldn't even have a universal translator.



    74. Janeway kicked more Borg butt than Archer.

    Archer saved Earth from destruction. Did Janeway do anything even remotely close to that? No? I didn't think so.



    75. Janeway wouldn't spend a whole season looking for some weapon on her own. She'd have created a mini-Federation of ships to work out the problem and share technology.

    Really? And why would anyone join that "mini-Federation" unless it's in their interest? That "mini-Federation" Janeway once created only existed because it was in the best interest of all involved parties to be a part of it. What would some random alien ship have to gain from joining Archer in his search for Xindi? Why would some random aliens care about saving Earth? Still not thinking before acting, I see, Mon Capitan. ;)



    76. Janeway's transporters actually work more than half the time.

    As opposed to whose transporters?



    77. Janeway's chair is sooo much more comfy than Archer's.

    Really? How do you know that? Did you try sitting in their chairs so now you speak from a personal experience? :rolleyes:



    78. Janeway has her chef doing more than one job. Oh, and we actually see Janeway's chef.

    Archer's chef never poisoned anyone with his cooking, unlike Janeway's so called "chef".



    79. Janeway never got duped into using some disreputable repair station when her ship was broken.

    Archer never allowed some horny alien looking for a quick hump to drag his ship to another quadrant, all the way across the galaxy. ;)



    80. Janeway's ship could beat Archer's in a race any day, any time. And with one nacelle tied behind Voyager's back.

    Both nacelles are required to create a stable Warp field, genius.

    [​IMG]

    There. How was that? ;)
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 25, 2013
  3. Mikey

    Mikey :mikey: Staff Member

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    Lol Tricorder ;D
     
  4. Marietta

    Marietta Comes and Goes.

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    I don't think this reflects well on the rest of us. o_O

    Entertaining. :p

    How much leisure time do you usually have in a day?
     
  5. OP
    Tricorder

    Tricorder Resident Maid

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    [​IMG]  ;)

    Not enough for my taste. ;)  I'm lazy. I want 100% of my time to be dedicated to leisure, dammit! :playful:
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 27, 2013
  6. Mikey

    Mikey :mikey: Staff Member

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    What's for breakfast?
     
  7. OP
    Tricorder

    Tricorder Resident Maid

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    I don't eat breakfast at this time of day. ;)  But I usually have coffee.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 26, 2013
  8. Mikey

    Mikey :mikey: Staff Member

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    Cream and Sugar in your coffee? Milk?


    Instant Coffee or "the real stuff"
     
  9. OP
    Tricorder

    Tricorder Resident Maid

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    Decaf with milk and sugar. :)
     
  10. Mikey

    Mikey :mikey: Staff Member

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    Do you like Tea as well? :)
     
  11. OP
    Tricorder

    Tricorder Resident Maid

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    Sure. I have a bottle of Nestea at arm's reach as we speak.
     
  12. Mikey

    Mikey :mikey: Staff Member

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    A bottle of Tea?
     
  13. OP
    Tricorder

    Tricorder Resident Maid

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    Jawohl. A bottle.

    [​IMG]
     
  14. Mikey

    Mikey :mikey: Staff Member

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    will you marry me
     
  15. OP
    Tricorder

    Tricorder Resident Maid

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  16. Mikey

    Mikey :mikey: Staff Member

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    i love you
     
  17. OP
    Tricorder

    Tricorder Resident Maid

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  18. DevilKid

    DevilKid .

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  19. OP
    Tricorder

    Tricorder Resident Maid

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  20. DevilKid

    DevilKid .

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    Why is it that only you, me and Marietta are the ones who use this forum regularly? Why doesn't anyone else use it? :(
     
  21. OP
    Tricorder

    Tricorder Resident Maid

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    Good question. I keep wondering about that myself. It's like everyone made a group decision to abandon this place for no apparent reason. [​IMG]
     
  22. DevilKid

    DevilKid .

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    I wish they would come back. Wouldn't you?
     
  23. OP
    Tricorder

    Tricorder Resident Maid

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    Yes, but not everyone. This place is better off without the certain individuals who are unable (or more likely unwilling) to behave in a mature and respectful manner toward those whose opinions differ from their own, but prefer to launch personal attacks when disagreed with.
     
  24. DevilKid

    DevilKid .

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    WAT! U HAS DIFFERENT OPINION TO ME>!>!"?!>£ F U

    /jk
     
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