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Valen

Discussion in 'Awesome Media' started by Madigan, Jan 26, 2005.

  1. Madigan

    Madigan OMG Member

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    Valen

    I've got a couple of writing projects on the go right now, besides my regular job so I'm often crunched for spare time for extra story writing but I've been wanting to write something to post in our forum. I just started on it this evening and I'm still putting the storyline together. Developping the characters, plots etc...
    I'll keep posting what I've got as it develops.
    I also don't have a title yet, I'll figure it out as the story develops...or maybe take some suggestions as the story moves along ;)


    Here's the start of it. Let me know what you think. :)

    Untitled​
    By: Madigan​

    The orcs had just finished their rampage on the village of Syrilan and were quickly moving south, leaving behind them a bloodbath as they had with all the other villages in their path. Their legion, which now consisted of nearly one thousand orcs, was moving down through the valley in a wave of destruction. In their wake, nothing survived, no man, woman, child, or animal left standing. They killed to eat, they killed for pleasure, and they killed out of their own basic appetite for chaos and destruction. But this time it was different, this time they were on a mission...


    ***

    ?Valen, you?re going to wear a rut in that floor if you continue. Why are you pacing so much?? asked Taniff, the innkeeper. Taniff and Valen had been friends since childhood. They had been on many adventures together in years past, but as time moved on, Taniff, now in his forties had decided to settle down and make a life for himself in the town of Collingwood where they both grew up, while Valen on the otherhand continued his pursuit of adventure.

    ?You know what?s on my mind Taniff. All the stories about the wizard Aboron amassing an army to seize control of the continent of Norda are true. I?ve seen them.? Valen snapped back in frustration, still pacing back and forth.
    ?So what if they?re true. Do you think you can stop them? Let the Council of Norda decide how to deal with Aboron. Nothing has happened yet or we would?ve heard about it. I?m sure the Council will send regiments of The Watch out to deal with Aboron before anything happens.? replied Taniff, trying to put his friend at ease.

    ?You don?t understand my dear friend. There?s something the Council doesn?t know. It?s that they have a traitor among them. One of them is reporting back to Aboron, keeping him informed of the Council?s secret plans. But how do I get word to the Council without the traitor finding out? What if the one I approach ?is? the traitor? He?ll have me killed or arrested before I could let any other member of the Council know about the treachery. I have to find out who the traitor is Taniff. I just have to?? Valen trailed off as he headed out for the door.

    ?Where are you going now?? asked Taniff, raising his arms in defeat of this conversation.
    ?Home to pack.? was the only reply as Valen closed the door behind him.

    Taniff stood there for a few moments staring at the door as if waiting for Valen to walk back in telling him he had changed his mind. But Taniff knew that wasn?t going to happen. He had known his friend Valen long enough to know that once his mind was set on something there was no changing it. The inn was still empty. It was early in the morning and Taniff had come in to get the place ready before the patrons started coming in.

    ?I?ve got a feeling that boy?s gonna get himself into more trouble then he bargained for.? he said to himself while shaking his head. His thoughts suddenly drifted to a time not long ago. A time before he decided to settle down and take over The Griffon?s Claw Inn when the previous owner just one day dissapeared. A time when he and Valen had shared so many adventures together.

    A huge grin appeared on his face. ?That?s why he?s gonna need my help.? He concluded, resolved in his decision to go off on another adventure with his long time, half-elven friend. He locked up the inn, put up a sign on the door, which read ?Gone Fishing?, and headed towards Valen?s place.


    ***
     
  2. Davidk

    Davidk OMG Member

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    Very good. I have to say you're a much better writer than I am! Good job. I can't wait for more!
     
  3. Pyro

    Pyro OMG Member

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    Beautiful, just beautiful :D Fantasy, my favorite kind of writing. And this remains pretty true to the straight fantasy subject. I can tell this could be interesting. What I like about it though is everything is straight and too the point. No fluff or useless details (Sorry Robert Jordan!)
     
  4. Davidk

    Davidk OMG Member

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    I'm very interested in reading more of this, how soon till we get more? :)
     
  5. OP
    Madigan

    Madigan OMG Member

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    Wow!
    Thanks guys :)

    When we read our own stuff we always think that it's just "ok" or that it's "crap". It's nice to hear when someone likes reading our stuff.

    Don't kid yourself guys, I love reading your stuff too. I'm not a big poetry fan but I have to say I've enjoyed reading what we have in our forum. Perhaps it's the fact of knowing it's your friends that wrote it that makes it fun to read. Who knows. We're just getting started with the short stories and it's nice to see people coming forward and posting what they've got.

    After all, that's why we're all here, to share our writing, share some feedback and ideas and share some laughs while we're at it too.

    We've got some good writers and poets in our midst, and I for one look forward to reading alot more of everyone's stuff :)
    Keep up the good work!

    I'll keep building the story and look foward to everyone's feedback. ;)
     
  6. OP
    Madigan

    Madigan OMG Member

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    I'll have more of the story added later this evening or by tomorrow for sure.
     
  7. Davidk

    Davidk OMG Member

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    Sounds good!
     
  8. OP
    Madigan

    Madigan OMG Member

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    Valen (continued)

    Hi guys,

    I thought I'd have more time to work on this but today was just a little nuts. I've added a little more to the story but it's not much. As I'm writing this I realize that because I'm editing on the fly and building the storyline as I go I could end up with a really long story. I'll try my best to keep it reasonably short.
    Another thing, I wasn't sure if I should bother starting a new thread with each new section since there may be quite a few or simply add the new parts in this same thread. Perhaps if it get's to where I have several chapters I can just have a seperate thread for each complete chapter. Let me know what you think is best. For now I'll just add this new part here.
    Again, your feedback is always appreciated.

    here it is:

    The architecture of the Council?s tower was designed to replicate the light of day within its enclosed walls. The sunlight entered through openings at the top of the tower and with precisely angled mirrors placed in various sections throughout the tower, the brilliance of daylight reached every single room inside without the need for windows. The only other opening into the tower was the great doors in the entrance hall.

    ?I can?t understand why the Pool of Vision will not allow us to see what is happening in the northern region of Norda? Ansalon said to Taggira, both wizards were in a small circular room looking into a pool of dark liquid in the center of the room. The dark liquid sat in an ebony bowl roughly 3 feet in diameter, which rested on a similar ebony pedestal roughly 4 feet in height.
    ?Aboron must be using some sort of cloaking spell to prevent us from seeing what he?s up to.? Ansalon continued angrily.

    ?And still no news from The Watch. The troops we?ve sent haven?t returned yet.? Taggira replied. ?Shall we send more troops to investigate?? He added.

    ?No, not yet.? Ansalon answered. He had a puzzled look on his face, his right hand now gently stoking his long white beard. He was trying to make sense of all this. Ansalon remembered the day Aboron was cast out of the Council. His hunger for power had become obvious when the rest of the Council discovered the secret dealings he was conducting. The blackmail and the threats Aboron had imposed on several of the wealthy business owners throughout the City of Tishar, the capital of Norda, was unacceptable. And for that, Aboron was exiled from the Council and the city of Tishar.

    ?Has he gone mad?? Ansalon thought to himself. ? Does he really think he can stand against The Council of Norda and The Watch? He is one wizard while we are nine. Not to mention the three thousand trained soldiers of The Watch?Unless??

    Ansalon quickly turned to look at his fellow wizard. ?Come Taggira, let?s meet with the rest of the Council. We need to decide what our next move is, and quick. Our sight over the distant regions of Norda through the Pool of Vision diminishes with each passing day. I hope I?m wrong, but if I?m right, I think I may have uncovered how Aboron plans to overthrow the Council and unleash whatever maniacal plan he has on Norda. We have no time to waste.? He said with urgency, as they both made their way out of the circular room and down the stairs to the great hall.


    ***


    In an isolated region of mountains in the most northern part of Norda, Black smoke rose from inside one of the mountain peaks. Deep inside the mountain Aboron?s plan was coming together.
     
  9. Davidk

    Davidk OMG Member

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    Very nice!

    You could turn this into a novel almost :) I look forward to more.
     
  10. OP
    Madigan

    Madigan OMG Member

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    Thanks Dave! :)
     
  11. Davidk

    Davidk OMG Member

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    How old are you?
     
  12. OP
    Madigan

    Madigan OMG Member

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    I'll give you a hint, I'm 259......in dog years of course;) hehehe
     
  13. Davidk

    Davidk OMG Member

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    37,

    cool, I'm 17 :)
     
  14. OP
    Madigan

    Madigan OMG Member

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    I'll be adding more to the story tonight. I have a bit of a cold and my creative juices just weren't flowing very well(cough cough)...mind you my nose was flowing fine(sniffle)...lol

    Yeah, that's my sorry attempt at humour.
     
  15. OP
    Madigan

    Madigan OMG Member

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    Valen (continued)

    Ok, well, I thought I'd only post the addition this evening but I was eager to get started on the rest of the story now and figured I'd post a few more paragraphs. Sorry for the wait. It's not much, but I'll have much more this evening.;)


    ?The digging is moving along well master.? growled the orc as he entered the room where Aboron stood. The wizard?s back was turned. Aboron was focused on the large map on the table in front of him. ?Very well Velag. How soon until we reach the vault?? replied Aboron, without turning to look at his messenger, his focus remaining on the map in front of him.
    ?If the information the prisoner gave you is correct, two days at the most Master.? responded Velag.

    A smile came across Aboron?s face. He was pleased of the news. Aboron now turned to look at Velag. ?The information is correct. The old innkeeper?s maps of this old mine are from the time the dwarves worked it. They?re the ones that built the vault which holds Lord Bane?s remains along with the sceptre.? Aboron said confidently. ?The Crystals of Blocking my army has been placing as they move south through the valley are working perfectly too.? Aboron continued with a smug look on his face. ?Preventing those fools at the Council of Norda from seeing our activities through the Pool of Vision. Affording me some time to move my army closer to Tishar before attacking, and time for me to find the hidden vault and seize the Sceptre of Power.? he continued.

    Velag was happy that his master was pleased He also knew that once Aboron possessed the Sceptre of Power, not only would Aboron himself become invulnerable, but also every member of his orc army would gain that power of invulnerability. Velag let out a sinister laugh.

    Aboron walked over to a table in the corner of the room where several books and parchments were stacked. He reached for a bottle of wine that was sitting amidst the pile of books, poured some in a silver goblet and turned to Velag. ? How about a drink my dear Velag.? He offered his orc messenger. Velag tried to hide his expression of disgust. ?Thank you master, but I?d rather not.? he answered Aboron.
    ?Ah yes, that?s right. An orc?s pallet is not refined enough to enjoy the taste of a fine wine? Aboron replied in a mocking tone.
    Velag sneered silently.
    ?So be it. Take out a barrel of mead and tell the orc miners they can drink tonight on the condition that they work twice as hard tomorrow to make up for lost time. I want to reach that vault in two days time.? Aboron said before taking a sip of his wine.

    Velag?s expression of disgust turned to one of excitement ?Thank you master, thank you?
    ?Now leave me.? Aboron concluded Velag Bowed before turning and leaving the room.


    ***


    Valen and Taniff had been travelling by horseback for several hours now. They were heading to City of Tishar where Valen was planning on exposing the traitor in the Council of Norda, and warning the rest of the members of the approaching army of orcs.
    He wasn?t sure how he was going to expose the traitor yet but while they travelled Valen discussed it with Taniff.

    ?And how do you know the traitor will even show up Valen?? Taniff asked his friend.
    The horses were moving at a trotting pace now. ?Because he can?t risk me speaking with the rest of the Council and exposing him. Even if we don?t know who he is yet, he doesn?t know that, and he can?t take that chance.? Valen replied.

    Taniff thought about Valen?s response and realized it made sense. ?Alright Valen, so, tell me again how we put this plan of your into place? Taniff asked, now convinced that Valen?s plan would work.
     
  16. OP
    Madigan

    Madigan OMG Member

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    More of Valen

    Hi guys!
    A bit late but here's the next part.


    Inside the Great Hall of the Council?s Tower the nine members of the Council of Norda, along with the six captains of The Watch were all gathered. At the centre of this very large room was a large circular table made of solid oak. There were sixteen chairs placed evenly around the table where each person present was sitting. Only one chair remained empty. It was where Aboron used to sit before he was cast out.

    They had been talking for hours, trying to decide on what their next actions should be. This meeting began with Ansalon informing them on the possibility of Aboron having discovered the location of the Sceptre of Power. A sceptre forged at the dawn of time by the gods themselves. A sceptre with the power to not only render its wielder invulnerable, but also every member of his army.

    Everyone in the Great Hall had heard of this sceptre before. The archives contained little information on this object. The only mention of it was of a time long past, over a millennia ago, when an evil ruler, named Lord Bane discovered it after nearly a lifetime of searching for it.
    His rule had been diabolical, destroying all those that opposed him. But his reign was short lived. In his arrogance and over confidence, he summoned a greater demon from lower planes of Hades believing he could use it to do his bidding.

    The demon, in a fit of rage for having been bothered by a mere mortal, breathed a cloud of thick black smoke, engulfing both Lord Bane and himself.
    Once the smoke had cleared, the demon could be seen towering over the torn and lifeless body or Lord Bane. The evil ruler?s bloody hand still clutching the undamaged sceptre.

    As the demon looked around at all the witnesses standing by, which by now had frozen still from fear, he bellowed in a deep resonating voice:
    ?Let this be a warning to all those foolish enough to summon me from my realm. If I am called again, it will be to unleash my wrath on your entire nation.?
    The beast let out a growl before returning to it?s own realm through a dimensional rift that opened up behind it.

    The only other mention of the sceptre in the archives was of how a clan of dwarves had come to pick up the remains of Lord Bane along with the Sceptre of Power to destroy this evil artifact once and for all.

    ?According to the archives this sceptre has been destroyed over a millennia ago Ansalon. What brings you to believe Aboron could have found it?? asked Geldar, a fellow member of the Council and a wizard as well.

    Ansalon stood up to speak. ?Because I had heard rumours.? He began. ?Rumours of a man in the town of Collingwood, an innkeeper, who was believed to have found secret maps to a dwarven mine. Maps that date back to over a millennia ago. These maps indicated a vault buried deep inside the mine. A vault believed to hold the remains of Lord Bane along with the Sceptre of Power? Ansalon added.
    Taggira stirred uncomfortably in his chair as Ansalon informed the members of this new bit of information.


    ?Rumours, Ansalon. These are just rumours.? Geldar replied in a dismissive tone while turning his gaze to the other members at the table, as if looking for agreement in his reply. He found none. Ansalon was not only the most respected member of the Council, he was also regarded as the most knowledgeable when it came to historical facts.


    Ansalon continued: ?The reason I believe these rumours to be true is because I never had a chance to meet with this innkeeper. He disappeared without a trace?right around the same time as these rumours began of Aboron?s plan to overthrow the Council of Norda. Coincidence?? Ansalon asked as his gaze circled the table to look at each and ever person sitting there.? Need I add, that we are now just beginning to realize that the rumours of Aboron?s plans are actually true?? Ansalon concluded before sitting down in his chair.

    There were a few minutes of silence at the table now as each person sitting at this table was beginning to realize the validity of Ansalon?s words. Everyone present now fully aware of the graveness of the situation and its possible outcome.


    ***


    It was late afternoon when Valen and Taniff had delivered the letters, each addressed to the individual members of the Council. They had told the Guard to hand each letter in private to each member so they wouldn?t be aware of anyone else receiving them.
    That being taken care of, Valen and Taniff were now going to have a quick meal before settling in and waiting for their plan to come together.



    That's all for now. I'll have more soon.
    Please let me know what you think so far.
     
  17. Davidk

    Davidk OMG Member

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    Very nice! Can't wait for more!
     
  18. OP
    Madigan

    Madigan OMG Member

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    Ok, after nearly a week of getting caught up on everything else but this story, I am now resolved to finish it...lol
    Sorry for the long wait. I've got two more parts of the story to post and it will be complete. Once completed, I will post the edited final draft of the story in the submissions folder.
     
  19. OP
    Madigan

    Madigan OMG Member

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    Valen (continued)

    Sorry guys, I know it's slow in the coming...
    These past two weeks I was focussed on the two other writing projects I have, and didn't want to lose my momentum. :o
    Anyhow, here's the next part, continuing from where I left off.


    The Whistling Warthog was a cozy inn. It was the location Valen and Taniff had chosen to stay the night as well as where they?d planned to expose the traitor. It was located in the riverfront district on the west side of the city. The riverfront was perhaps not the safest part of the city, where muggings were a regular occurrence at nighttime, yet it wasn?t the worst either. The southern district was where many a careless traveller would often just disappear altogether. Even with soldiers of The Watch patrolling the city regularly Tishar was like any other city, crimes would happen and could never be totally eliminated.

    Valen and Taniff chose a table off in the corner of the room to sit at. As they enjoyed their meal they shared each other?s company in silence, while they kept their eyes on the other patrons sitting in the inn. They took noticed of who came in and who left, staying alert for anyone who might be suspiciously eyeing them. It was still too early for any spies of possible assassins to be here and out looking for them so soon after having dropped off the letters, but our two friends weren?t taking any chances.


    ***


    In the Tower of the Council, the guard had been handing out the letters to each member individually and in private as instructed. When Taggira received his letter as the others had, he waited until his was in his private quarters to read it. The guard had told him the letter was for his eyes only. He quickly opened it, curious as to what the secrecy was all about. It read:
    ?Dear member of The Council Of Norda,
    I have urgent news to share with you. Two nights past in my travels to the northern regions I came across an orc encampment in the forest. As I cautiously hid in the nearby brushes to find out why they were so close to the nearby villages I overheard them speak of terrible deeds they had done. I also overheard them speak of a wizard in the Council and how, with his help, Aboron?s plans were coming forth.
    It is grave news that I bring to your attention.
    I would meet with you on the morrow?s morn to expose this traitor in the Council.
    Until then I ask for your secrecy.?

    Taggira froze with fear that he may be exposed. The guard had told him this letter was for him only, which meant that whoever had sent it did not suspect him. Yet, he couldn?t allow this person to approach the other members of Council with any information that might possibly lead to exposing him. He had to act quickly. He had to do something before the morning came. He hid the letter in his robe and raced down the hall to find the guard that handed him the letter.

    He caught up with the guard as he was doing his rounds. He quickly glanced around to make sure no one else was around as he stopped the guard and pulled him aside into a niche in the hallway. ?Who gave you this letter?? Taggira whispered forcefully. The guard sensing the urgency in Taggira?s tone sheepishly replied: ? They didn?t say me lord?

    ?They? What did they look like?? Taggira continued impatiently. ?Describe them to me. I need to know everything that was said.?

    The guard realizing he had failed to get the two travellers names proceeded to describe them to Taggira. He described what they were wearing as well as physical details like height and facial appearance, including how one of the two had elflike features. He also told of how each member had received a similar letter, and that he had been asked to deliver each one in private. Taggira had to make a concentrated effort to stay expressionless upon hearing this. As the guard finished he added one more detail he had nearly forgotten: ?They asked me for directions to The Whistling Warthog as well me lord. Perhaps that is where they are staying this night?? The guard finished, hoping this information would please Taggira, not to mention saving him from possibly being permanently relieved of duty as a soldier of The Watch.

    Taggira stood silently for a moment, his eyes staring in the direction of the floor as he pondered this information. Then he quickly turned to the guard whispered with the same urgency in his voice: ?Very well. Now, do not speak to anyone of our conversation and everything you?ve just told me. Understood??

    ?Yes me lord, understood.? The guard quickly replied along with a sigh of relief.
    Taggira then dismissed him with a wave of his hand.


    ***


    Ansalon sat in his private quarters reading the letter the guard had handed to him earlier.
    His letter read:

    ?Dear Ansalon, respected member of The Council Of Norda,
    I have urgent news to share with you. Two nights past in my travels to the northern regions I came across an orc encampment in the forest. As I cautiously hid in the nearby brushes to find out why they were so close to the nearby villages I overheard them speak of terrible deeds they had done. I also overheard them speak of a wizard in the Council and how, with his help, Aboron?s plans were coming forth.
    It is grave news that I bring to your attention.
    I would meet with you on this eve to expose this traitor in the Council.
    The reason I trust you with this information is because it is widely known that it is your efforts that exposed Aboron and brought about his exile.
    I shall be staying at The Whistling Warthog. Ask the innkeeper for Valen
    Until then I ask for your secrecy.?

    Ansalon had already started to suspect the possibility of a traitor within the Council. And now with this letter being delivered to him his suspicions were fortifying, and may after all bear true in light of this possible evidence. Ansalon tucked the letter inside his robe and headed down the hallway.
    Ansalon was about to open the door before his, Taggira walked out, almost knocking Ansalon over as the door swung open.
    ?Ansalon?? Taggira said surprised, ?Good eve friend. I?I thought I had left a scroll in here but I was wrong. Ah well, I shall look for it on the morrow. I am quite tired and will go to bed early I think this eve. I bid you goodnight.? Taggira trailed off nervously as he quickly headed down the hallway.

    Ansalon raised an eyebrow in wonder then continued into the room.
    He stood over the Pool of Vision for several minutes before the images began to appear. He pulled a scroll from his sleeve and whispered an incantation, then gazed once again into the pool. He could see a dozen people sitting down in a room, drinking and talking. Suddenly one of the many faces he could see in the pool glowed slightly at first, then a little brighter, making it easily distinguishable from the rest.
    ?Ahh, there you are my dear Valen. Now I know the face of the one I am to speak with this eve.? Ansalon said, as though speaking to the image in the pool.
    He waved his hand over the pool and the images disappeared.
    The sun was already sinking into the horizon as Ansalon was hastily making his way towards The Whistling Warthog.


    ***


    ?What if no one shows up Valen? What will we say when we meet with the Council on the morrow?s morn?? Taniff asked anxiously, beginning to worry that Valen?s plan my not work. It was getting late and so far no one resembling a council member had shown up. But before Valen had a chance to reply a man walked in wearing a long blue robe. He wore a hood, which hung low thus concealing his face, but a long grey beard could be seen from underneath his hood. He walked with a long wooden staff, which appeared to be nothing more then walking stick. Taniff and Valen both paused as they noticed him walk in.
     
  20. OP
    Madigan

    Madigan OMG Member

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    Also, contrary to an earlier post I made, I will have more then just two more parts to add to finish the story...lol
    I don't know what I was thinking but I probably still have 4 or 5 more parts to add before the story is complete.
    And as I said before, once it's complete and I've made a final editing I'll post it in the submissions folder.
    I also plan on rewording all the dialog into "old english" I believe it would improve the story alot.

    If anyone has any other suggestions, comments or ideas, please feel free to let me know.

    Thanks!;)
     
  21. OP
    Madigan

    Madigan OMG Member

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    My appoligies everyone. I've simply had too many things on the go. I'll be adding a couple more sections of the story over the next few day I promise.
    Between long hours at work the past several weeks, putting some time in my book and my articles and also trying to get a bit of reading time I haven't had any time to finish my short story about Valen. My storyline and scene descriptions are already written, I've just gotta write them out and get it done finally.
    By Sunday I'll have two more sections posted, maybe more. ;)
    Thank you all for the views. Be sure to check back over the next few days for more of the story.
     
  22. Shirley

    Shirley OMG Member

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    This is really good, I really hope to get this all together in a pdf file to print. Is that perhaps possible?
     
  23. OP
    Madigan

    Madigan OMG Member

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    Hi all, I am hoping to make a return to our forum on a full time basis again. Work and family life had pulled my attention away for the past 5 months. I miss all my old friends on here and look forward to getting aquainted with so many new members. And I can't forget my short story. I have been dying to finish it.
    I was thrilled to see my story is still of interest on here.
    Hope to be get a chance to talk with all of you soon.
    Take care and write on!
     
  24. Pyro

    Pyro OMG Member

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    Heya Madigan ;) Long time no see :D I'm looking forward to reading the end of this, and having you around here more often. We definatly need full time members, and hopefully this influx of activity will get the ball rolling.
     
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