Well I know everyone at some point in their lives have done this with food.
Indeed, and quite guilty of it. When I was in my teens I was always told to please eat more, because I was staying way to light and thin. And once I got online and had to do some work and stopped training the horses, and I got married.. even without snacking it just went to "now you're fat" yeah - fantastic.. and I couldn't get rid of it it anymore either.
Suddenly "comfort food" is like hell .. even a bit, unlike when i was younger, is doing instant damage and has an emotional impact. Much more than say when you're in shape and you walk it off the next morning with 4 hours of training horses.
I wish I knew that when I was 20, not when I was 40 and it's too late.
when does comfort eating become over eating?
The problem is when you go out and buy it because you know you might run into comfort food. 9/10 times I tell myself while buying it: Nope... put the money away for some "thing" you want to save up money for. And ignore comfort food. The emotions will go away. And instead of a shitty sandwich, let's make a grilled cheese one and call it dinner.
The problem is when you buy it, and then don't moderate yourself. You don't just get a scoop of B&J, you get the tub. And you know in your mind that it isn't actually solving the problem, so it's not solving discomfort.
Can you change a habit formed over a long period of time so it has become a way of life.
This is the problem, because we're not magicians, but it requires a bit of magic. The mental trick has to be applied. You have to not just tell yourself it's just mental, you have to realize it, and after the fact. Getting over that point is the hard one.
I slowly accept certain things do not change for me, I slowly accept that I can change. And the little improvements as little as they are and as long as they take, they eventually stack up and I notice the benefits. And that good feeling: that's the magic sauce. You end up believing much more in yourself. But it sucks, because we're humans and tricking yourself nothing is working is a lot easier than finding comfort in the tiniest victories.
If the plan is: Once a day I realise I am sitting, and then I get up instead.. even if it is five minutes. Because after 350+ days you've got up every day for a few minutes and it is a way of life and easier. And that's 350+ days a year more than the year before. And that makes moving around, doing things, distracting the mind, and getting started on walking more and sitting less: and that's good.
I get up in the mornings and sometimes just not do my regular routine. I get out and ride my bike, or walk - even if it's a short distance. Because I never used to do that, and now I do: And now it's easy. And while it's nothing compared to fit ppl doing 35k a day or more. For me, it is a chance: And this is about my life.
Every bit helps. Even if it's just getting up and distracting the mind and moving the body around.
Is it a mind set that needs to be broken down into manageable chunks to filter out the bad thoughts and replace them with better self loving ones?
I am at the point now in my life that I don't believe in the self loving level, I am already content with just being more happy or content. That's leaning towards "yeah I am ok", and with enough okays in a day, a week or month, I feel a lot better about myself. A couple of years ago the few times I felt super shit in a day - it all added to depression. I worked hard on turning those into ok moments (for money, health, exercise, etc. And the depression is less, the okays counter is up, and the self loving is a little easier. Yeah, it is a mind set in my opinion. Sometimes realising some negative stuff isn't worth buggin ya day up over is a great start. sometimes finding out that what you can't change you just have to accept helps. And sometimes it helps to forget about everything on the list and just pick the one thing that is either pressing (time sensitive) or a thing you can do. Clearing that 'todo' list (even a mental one) one by one: HELPS. " is this problem something i can fix? 100% guaranteed NO, ever in my life!: Ok, let's take that out of the equation, why fucking worry about it.. " my todo list is shorter, i rather put my energy in focussing on the problem of paying that bill tomorrow and then on that trip next weekend, and then on walking daily, and then on losing some weight when i have "real" time. And then and then and then.. but today I worry about that bill, the rest can wait until tonight or tomorrow. But the shit i can't change: so be it, NOT ON THE LIST. I just have to accept it that it's there and deal with the consequences as they come (but they aren't here today). I hope any of this is making sense.
I've bought a book and will start to read it today.
I have an eye problem, but I like reading. This was something that depressed me daily. No longer. I can't change this. What I can do is solve another problem by enjoying reading books with my ears. I listen to audible books and podcasts, and since i need to walk more: I do it while walking. I feel more positive about having read more, about not worrying about not being able to read, and i walk more, which makes me feel good. A small change, but a big impact in my daily feely feels.
Do I have the answer to your questions? no, i am just myself.. no professional and i dont know your daily life. But I hope my experiences that i share and my opinions maybe give you insight and motivation to make positive changes. Tiny or big changes