- Joined
- Jan 1, 2001
- Messages
- 60,096
ALL THE NOMZ
There are days where I forget to eat, which is not healthy.
There are days where I wish I could just sleep in a bowl of beautiful gravy, obviously not healthy either.
But there are days where I regret not making an effort to eat regular, or a certain size, or a certain type of food. And there are days where I try hard, and it just doesn't work. What use is being healthy all day and then ending on the couch with a bag of chips that are too salty and watch a movie.
This thread is one of many in my life where food is on my mind in one way or another and I just want to share what I ate, be it good or bad. And learn from my stupid behavior and improve it.
There are obvious things that I can do to improve my life. Getting some fucking control over what and how I eat, is a good first step. Just sucks that through the lifespan of my little life I have to go back and take that first step again. Then again, I guess we can at least keep taking those steps.
One of the things I have learned is to not listen to others. It really does not matter what they say, think or feel about me. And that is part of the emotional distress that cause depression or the lack of motivation to think about eating baby carrots versus a bucket filled with creamy chocolate and take a bath in it.
I hope you understand what I just tried to say.
I do not want to stop eating chocolate, or chips, or stop having soda or coffee, or whatever else is bad. Everything is bad. If it's a trend to be good or bad, we find scientific studies that tell us so. I lost faith in any of it, and go by what I have learned: Not caring, life changes, adulthood, and no fitness equals a terrible lifestyle lacking energy and storing all those good and bad things that get me to where I am now.
Can I get a do-over?
I am not the person that hides behind a diet and then goes home and eats in secret. If I fool myself, I don't even want to bother with a diet. I rather pick what I eat and learn to do anything in moderation.
There's nothing bad with eating a bag of chips. It's bad eating it in one sitting and not sharing. What I need to get away from is sitting at home and enjoying a movie thinking "this is my life, who cares!". Well, my fat fucking ass cares, that's who. Nobody else cares. Just me. Instead, I should enjoy being more social, more myself, and share a movie with someone - and - share the chips. And portion it. That way we can have multiple movie nights as well. It's cheaper, it's less, it's healthier, it's more social, blah blah.. how can this be a bad thing? Exactly.
I don't mind having soda, I love the cold bubbly "omg i needed this" moment from having a drink. I already changed my life by not buying bottles, just a few cans to get me through the week. Now I need to get away from the unhealthy ones and move to enjoying the alternatives that are just as nice.
The same for snacks, the same for my salt intake (which by the way, I already worked on hard, I don't even cook with salt anymore, basically). But a day can be long, a week can be dragging on, and a month could be super negative. It's hard to not occupy your mind with something negative and end up not caring or not feeling motivated.
The more blah you feel, the more you have to do, the more you are distracted, the less we take our food seriously. We sneak it in, just a few minutes.. and then realise an hour later we're hungry again and stuff our face with a quick fix.
Through the years I've tried learning to feel the difference between being empty, being full, feeling hungry or snacky. To try and spend an hour after waking up doing something productive, that includes some form of moving (walking, biking, being busy) before I get a small simple breakfast that feeds me energy (without it being sugar or greasy or dairy, etc) so I feel okay and motivated more than when I skip breakfast. Which I used to do for many years as well.
Another thing I have been working on is replacing a complete evening dinner with a fulfilling alternative. Like a fancy sandwich that fills you up, or a nice snack, but then nothing the rest of the day. etc.
I drink soda? I try to tell myself to have less, and I go out of my way to get alternatives like juices, infused water, coffee, tea, whatever. Too much milk? Not going back to soda, but trying to cut dairy. Having sandwiches instead of greasy fat food? Great.. but then I try to cut down in having break and increase the salads. Having salads? Okay, let's not include the sauce to cut down on calories. etc. I hope you get what I am trying to say here.
So expect a huge dinner picture in this thread, as well as a pretty picture of a salad. Or just me posting that I am having grilled cheese sandwich for dinner, or went out for dinner and had a chicken soup.
In a way thinking about posting on social media what I have, or in this thread, etc. I share what I do, and I can feel guilty about it, and I learn to make choices ahead of ordering anything. Hopefully that helps me to hold myself a bit more accountable and get more aware of what I have and should or should not have. Slowly improving the lifestyle of how and what I eat, how often, in what portions, etc. Surely that's not a bad thing.
Improving what I eat, what I drink, and how much I move in a day.. it has to add up. Even if it's over the next few years. Otherwise it probably just get worse, and that's not good for anybody.
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Just not PESTO
