how to start conversation about money with my partner

[yazmeen]

My partner and I can talk about anything except for money. I'm always having a difficult time to open up about money problems. I don't know how to tell him that I need his support financially. I'm afraid that if I ask, it will just start an argument and i just don't want us arguing about money.

We are living together and most of the expenses are coming from me, how can i tell him to share a little more without starting a debate?

 

[Floris]

By not starting a debate, but have a conversation.

 

[Mikey]

dont get them worried, dont make it sound too serious, I.e. "We need to talk" isn't really a great conversation starter

Simply let him know that you need his support a little more, ask him if it's possible, voice your concerns, without raising any of your current annoyances.

 

[crimson]

I agree with Mikey here and Floris! A conversation is needed especially with money matters. If you don't mind me asking Yazmeen, Uhmm are you married with this guy? if yes then it should be one of his duty to help you with financial problems.

 

[NealUK]

If you can't talk to your partner about ANYTHING, then is that partner right for you?

 

[vlada]

My partner and I can talk about anything except for money. I'm always having a difficult time to open up about money problems. I don't know how to tell him that I need his support financially. I'm afraid that if I ask, it will just start an argument and i just don't want us arguing about money.

We are living together and most of the expenses are coming from me, how can i tell him to share a little more without starting a debate?

It is absolutely clear from your post that you are experiencing some difficulties in communication with your partner. The worst thing that you can do in such situation is the withdrawing into yourself. Only the candid dialog will save your relationships with your partner.

 

[yazmeen]

I agree with Mikey here and Floris! A conversation is needed especially with money matters. If you don't mind me asking Yazmeen, Uhmm are you married with this guy? if yes then it should be one of his duty to help you with financial problems.

We are not yet married, just living together. I am not sure, but I think I have given enough, didn't ask him about anything especially with money, I am thinking maybe he thinks I can manage it that's why he never offers help. But I really want him to volunteer and help me out, I never told him I need his support financially. I just couldn't find the words to tell him.

 

[yazmeen]

If you can't talk to your partner about ANYTHING, then is that partner right for you?

Well, I know I love him, but thinking if he is the right partner for me? that i don't know. I guess I have to experience more to know if he's really the right one for me. Money is the only thing which is difficult for me to talk about. For me, as long as I can manage, then I will. The problem now is, am starting to have a difficult time managing it.

 

[Nix]

Hey Yazmeen, how about going to a charity that specializes in helping people with financial problems such as the Citizens Advice Bureau or CCCS or something to help you organize your income and expenses?

http://www.cccs.co.uk/
http://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/

 

[crimson]

If he really cares for you I hope that he feels that there is something bothering you and he sees that you are having problems especially with financial matters.

 

[yazmeen]

If he really cares for you I hope that he feels that there is something bothering you and he sees that you are having problems especially with financial matters.

yeah, i really hope he can feel it. am a little worried that he wont feel it though, unless i tell him. Still looking for the right words to start the conversation with him..thanks anyway exzfactor...

 

[Floris]

You should feel comfortable with the person you are with and you should be able to discuss these things - even worse, he should notice that something is up.

Don't kid yourself, reconsider your relationship - or just man up and start the talk

 

[yazmeen]

hey guys! guess what, I already opened up my problem with my partner. I really did my best to stay calm and cool before starting, fortunately, we were both at our best when I started the conversation. Luckily, he apologized for not noticing it and he agreed to share more on expenses. He admitted that he did not really notice that I was handling more of our expenses. He even bought me flowers that evening and took me on a very romantic date! It was really wonderful...till now I can't stop myself from smiling when I think about it. I feel so beautiful! Thanks everyone...

 

[crimson]

Nice to hear about that Yazmeen! I hope your relationship last for a long time and I hope there are no more things troubling you and your partner. At least now you are more open with each other.

 

[Nix]

Aww I'm glad things worked out well for you

 

[Vincent_imported]

You could just have showed him this topic
Than he knows it