Stress - How do you cope?

Nix

Just a little crazy!!
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So I'm under a lot of stress at the moment. I want to start smoking again its that bad!!!

Abbs is under exam stress and prom stress and soon to be eating stress!


How does everyone cope?
 

Floris

I'm just me :) Hi.
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So I'm under a lot of stress at the moment. I want to start smoking again its that bad!!!

Abbs is under exam stress and prom stress and soon to be eating stress!


How does everyone cope?
Compartmentalize. The reality is that not all the stress is Your stress. We, humans, make it our stress. And I do not mean this in a bad way. Abbie's going to prom, that's a positive thing. She will be fine, it will be an experience. What you can do is put the energy into being supportive and helping make that happen. That's an adventure, it doesn't have to be the negative stress. Try seeing it as positive stress. And separate from issues that are real stresses (just making an example, playing devil's adv.)

It's super, super hard. But the mindset on the approach of what the stress is for a topic can help deal with it. That is what I am trying to say.

No need to go and start smoking again. You've stopped before, that's a super awesome thing. You can stop and can not smoke. So no need to start it up again. The same for (over)eating.

Another thing about compartmentalizing stress is the time you have it. If you're dealing with one thing, do not dedicate the mental space for it to also deal with three other things. You can't! That's why it all adds up and becomes overwhelming. You're busy making phone calls for prom today? Great.. you're dealing with it. The rest can wait until tomorrow. Is it tomorrow? Stop worrying about prom right now, focus on what you're dealing with in the moment. And finally, is it after business hours and you can't do certain things anymore? So be it. You don't control time. You can't call companies anyway, other people can't help you at 2 am at night. It's a task, but it's time to let it go and realize you will make it all better and easier to deal with if you just sleep and rest, so you can have the motivation to deal with that one stressful topic the next day, or after the weekend, or by the end of the week.

What I am trying to say here is, and yes, almost impossible to do, is that splitting up the stress in time blocks is how we can deal with it. It is what CEO of companies do. And I realized how it actually worked for me. And I found rest times, times for improving my health, and I didn't do bad things. And then dealing with stress became easier.

What helped me as well was just talking to someone. Before you rest. Just let it out a bit, it helps you get an overview. You're teaching your mind by sharing what is not really important (within that stress) and you focus on the bigger points. It can feel less overwhelming then.

And most importantly: You can only do what you can do, you can't do more. And everything that is seemingly a wall to climb, eventually prom, and other things are behind you, no matter how it went. You can't control how it goes much, time moves forward without you. All you can do is your best, so do what you can and that creates a bit of acceptance. Every tiny step forward means you're doing great. And you have to tell yourself you put the effort in, now it's time for a break, I will pick this up tomorrow.. so you can also relax and process the stress and its progress, as little as it is. Sometimes "I started dealing with this two weeks ago, we're halfway there because time moved forward" is progress.

Again, I know it's not easy, I understand things feel impossible, and that there's a lack of time, but life's also a reality. You do deserve to live within it. That comes with time to eat, time to clean, time to shower, time to sleep, and time to relax. And your mind and body need that.

All of the above is what I try to apply to myself and I've figured out what works for me (and not), and I went from a really high-stress environment to a manageable one. Because even waking up now allows me to have at least 1,5 hours to myself where I relax to wake up, have some tea, prep some food, go through messages, and organize mail. And then I pick up a high-priority item that gives me stress, seeing what I can do about it. And by 2 pm I am done, mentally. I take my deserved break, I have some lunch and I try to keep it light, and I go clean the apartment, or do fun todo items that don't give me stress. Then around 4 pm, I call or email companies, go through the higher priority emails and after business hours it's simply 'me time', no more family shit, no more doing shit for others. I think about how I want to solve stress things that apply to me and then watch tv, youtube, have dinner, go shower, relax, and go to sleep. And I can fall asleep knowing I did stuff for others, I did stuff for me, I had fun where I could, and that I at least worked on the highest priority ticket without it taking over the whole day and night.
 

Floris

I'm just me :) Hi.
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During difficult times, I used to feel overwhelmed too. However, I found a way to cope by being productive and focusing on positive future goals. I write down achievable steps to reach those goals and keep myself busy. Sometimes, I take a break and enjoy a refreshing lemonade or make myself a cup of tea to relax. Rather than giving in to cravings, I distract my mind by focusing on something else.

It wasn't easy, but with persistence, I managed to change my habits from 80/20 to 50/50 and now 20/80 over a period of 1.5 years. I believe you can do the same.

It's natural to feel tempted to give in, but it's possible to take control of ourselves. I wish you the best of luck <3.
 
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Floris

I'm just me :) Hi.
Staff member
Joined
Jan 1, 2001
Messages
60,120
The other day, poorly.. but i did realise I had a nice weekend. So I took that and focussed on that.
Today: went well, but ends poorly. And now I realise I can relax and just not do anything anymore, and the last thing is groceries.

My mind and body tells me 'stop', so I am trying to listen to that now.
 
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